1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside… I just finished cleaning."

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC .
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My Parents taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My Parents taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My Parents taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My Parents taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My Parents taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My Parents taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

Carolyn,

Hope your birthday was special.  Can you fax Riley and me a slice of the birthday cake?  We are low
on our calorie intake today.   

Make it a great one !!

Eddie

Just saw Jimmy on Bill Anderson's Family Reunion (with Larry Black) - singing a Bill Anderson song.  They advertised that Jimmy would be on Larry's Country Diner live show from Branson Starlite theater but I think that's already on Jimmy's tour schedule twice this summer.

Eddie

Greetings to the New Members

We're glad you joined the Fortunetellers Fanclub.  Like you, we're all fans of Jimmy and also the Statlers.  We hope you will join us on the website and get to know us.  We're pretty much family here and if you've been to a Jimmy Fortune concert, then you've gotten to meet Jimmy up close and personal and also met Jimmy's wife, Nina.  Let us know who you are, where you're from, and your birthdate (month and day are fine - we don't care about the year or century).  Check in with us when you can, read what you want, and chat when you feel ready.  We don't bite ! 

If you're here on the message board, you can also access Jimmy's webpage. www.jimmyfortune.com to also see his tour schedule and there is information on his DVD and CDs. 

Eddie

I definitely know Ro is messing with me now!  Today was our wedding anniversary.  I usually bring Ro her favorite red roses but for some reason - I saw these "white" roses - and without hesitation - I chose to do something different.  Being a creature of habit - this was stretching the imagination.  But I did so. 

Before we get to today, understand that I visited Ro on her birthday, November 29th, with the usual red roses and two weeks later, December 15th, I brought a 3' x 5' evergreen grave blanket (I believe you call them) which had white tipped pine cones and holiday ribbons that I placed on her grave.  If you saw the cemetery today, you would have seen at least a 1000 such grave blankets - so nothing unusual.

When I walked up to her grave - Ro's grave blanket was gone - while all the others were still laying fresh on the other graves. After I spent time with my Lady, I saw a cemetery worker finishing up opening a new gravesite so I asked if the cemetery had decided to remove any evergreens from the gravesites.  He first told me that around Christmas they had experienced 50 mph winds that had blown some grave flowers to the exterior fence and since they were unable to identify which graves they belonged to that they just discarded them.  But then considering it was a 3' x 5' evergreen with an 18" piece of wood attached for weight - he thought that the windstorm wouldn't have been able to blow it away as did some of the small potted flowers, etc.  We just decided that maybe someone wanted to honor their deceased relative and maybe "borrowed" the one I had placed. 

We stood talking for about 10 minutes and found that we had both grown up several miles from each other in Pennsylvania (he being younger than me by "several decades"  , having a nice conversation.  As the talk ended, he went back to work and I was going to head to the car about 20 feet away.  BUT (and you know this is coming) I looked at the ground and there was the "proverbial" penny staring up at me.  C'mon there were a 1000 evergreens still laying throughout the cemetery - and Ro's was missing?  Had it not been missing, I would not have walked over to the paved area where the worker and THE PENNY was.

BTW, when I brought the roses on her birthday (11/29), her sister, Eleanor, had asked me previously to select one of the roses and place it on her headstone since she couldn't be there.  As I was putting the 12 roses in the vase - one fell and landed diagonally acrossed her headstone - I'm not dumb - I wasn't going to mess with moving it.  I returned on 12/15 with the evergreen and the roses in the vase still had life so I chose to leave them in the vase.  As I looked at the headstone, the single rose had not moved - still having life in it - I chose not to move it either.  Today when I arrived the roses in the vase had lived their life as did the single rose on the headstone - and strangely enough, even with the Christmas 50 mph winds, the single rose was still in its original position.

Can you hear her laughing !!!  C'mon pick one evergreen out of 1000 just to have me bend over and pick up a penny?

Eddie (and Rose looking down laughing from heaven)

Donna,

Have a great birthday - make it a special day.  Hope Santa treats you well too.


Eddie

Pam,
 
Have a great birthday on your special day.  Hope you and Clyde have fun celebrating it.

Eddie

Riley,

Wishing you the best on your birthday !  Tell Maggie I said hello !


Eddie